Sixteen Going On Seventeen
by aloneintoronto
Summary: An angsty songfic told from Bolin's heartbroken point of view. Spoilers for episode five and very mild swearing.


**Author's Note: Well here we go, my first and most likely only fanfic. I didn't love how comedic they made Bolin's reaction to the events of episode five, and I was inspired by a joke someone made on tumblr, so here we have it. Forgive me for any rookie mistakes. The song of course is _Sixteen Going On Seventeen_ from _The Sound of Music._**

* * *

Bolin slowly pulled the record out of it's generic white sleeve, inspecting it for cracks or scratches before carefully placing it in his old, beat up phonograph. As he moved the the needle onto the vinyl, he smiled as he remembered the day, four or five years ago, that Mako had brought it back for him after a long night out scavenging. Anyone with two yuans to rub together would regard it as a piece of junk, but it was Bolin's most prized possession.

He, of course, never admitted it, but Mako's gift of music was even more important to him than the gift of pro-bending that Toza had given the two brothers.

"_You are 16 going on 17  
Baby its time to think  
Better beware  
Be canny and careful  
Baby you're on the brink"_

He also never admitted that in the absence of Mako, the same cheerful love song always filled the small apartment.

"_You need someone  
Older and wiser  
Telling you what to do  
I am 17 going on 18  
I'll take care of you"_

Or that just being near Korra, whether practising for the arena or slurping seaweed noodles at Narook's, made him feel safer and more secure than he had his whole life. He didn't know if it was because of her strength, her age, or because he had never felt such _intense happiness_ as he did in her presence. In all honesty it made him a bit embarrassed, so he kept it out of his head by pretending it was simply because she was the avatar.

"_I am 16 going on 17  
I know that I'm naive  
Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet  
And willingly I believe"_

Bolin finished ruffling his hair, popped his collar, called for Pabu, and picked up the bouquet that he had spent his last month's savings on. There was a spring to his step as he left the apartment, focusing on the positive, as he had learned to do over the past ten years. _Tonight was the night. Korra had gone on and on about how much fun __**he**__ was, and how much fun she had with __**him**__, and all of the fun they had __**together**__. Of course she felt the same way about __**him**__. _

"_I am 16 going on 17 innocent as a rose  
Bachelor dandies  
Drinkers of brandies  
What do I know of those"_

But as he stepped out into the cool air, the nerves set in, and the spring left his step. He noticed his legs start to quiver as Pabu clung tighter to his jacket, losing all that was left of his confident, pro-earthbender stance. _She really did like __**him**__, right?_

As Bolin stammered down the walkway he saw Mako and Korra arguing, and his grip grew tighter on the roses. _Mako must have been angry about how coldly Korra was treating Asami. No. Mako was angry with her for going on a date with a team member. Maybe this was all one big mistake. _He took another shaky step, beginning to hum in order to keep the onslaught of anxiety from sending him running back to his loft.

"_Totally unprepared am I  
To face a world of women  
Timid and shy and scared am I  
Of things beyond my ken"_

And that's when Korra lunged towards Mako. At first Bolin thought she was about to attack him, and readied himself to break the two up. He couldn't decide who he wanted to protect, Korra or Mako. But when he looked up again, they weren't fighting. Korra was kissing Mako. And Mako was kissing back.

With a loud thud the 35 yuan bouquet fell to the ground, and Bolin slowly backed up, breaking into a full out sprint to the safety of his apartment. Everything was a blur as he focused on the fiery rage building under his chest to keep himself from falling to the ground and sobbing. _Tonight was one big mistake. No. Everything was all one big mistake. _

Tears began to cloud Bolin's vision as he thundered into the apartment, carelessly bending the clay practice disks towards the door. Pabu shrieked and scattered away, causing Bolin to crash back to reality for just long enough to hear the last few lines of what used to be his favourite song.

"_I need someone  
Older and wiser  
Telling me what to do  
You are 17 going on 18  
I'll depend on you"_

_She didn't want him. She needed someone older and wiser, someone to depend on. It didn't matter if he needed her. She wanted Mako._ Bolin sent the last of the disks straight into his record player, not having realized what he was doing until he heard the last two lines repeat, in a shrill, distorted voice as the disk crashed into the needle, and the record player crashed to the floor.

"_You are 17 going on 18_

_I'll depend on you" _

As it fell to the floor, Bolin snapped out of his rage, and a loud sob finally escaped from his chest. He crumpled around the broken machine, trying to piece back together what was his sole source of joy for so long, as a chain of choked "_Fuck_"s and "_No_"s filled the space between his sobs and gasps for breath.

Bolin wished he was strong enough to bend the broken shards back together, or smart enough to have not destroyed it in the first place. No_. _He wished that he was smart enough to have realized earlier that he would never be good enough for Korra, and strong enough to not have that realization destroy him.


End file.
